Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
