in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
