That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
