I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
