Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
