Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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