I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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