hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
