he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
