I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
