I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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