google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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