i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
