And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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