So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
