YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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