I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
