Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
