:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
