Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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