does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
