He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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