Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
