I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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