party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
