Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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