I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We have started to decorate penises.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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