Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
