he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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