I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
