My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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