is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
