very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
