So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
