i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
