I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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