you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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