Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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