My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
two words...techno handjob
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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