literally had 100 drinks last night.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
