Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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