I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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