She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
