i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
