Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Randomize
