last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
