when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't deserve a penis
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
