Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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