I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
