Betty ford says i'm here all night
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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