my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
