Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't turn off my feet"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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