I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
