just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
