Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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