it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wish i was in the wii world.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
