Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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